My History
everyone has a story. it usually isnt a good one preceding the meeting of Christ into their lives. my life happens to be so.
i was born into a traditional chinese family w a buddhist background. my parents aint devoted believers so that left me as a person with free beliefs. my parents reject church a lot but the irony is that they sent me to christian schools and enrichment centres. hence i was actually exposed to christian values since young. however, due to the fact that my parents are atheist, i then ignore what was being preached.
when i was 9, i mixed with the wrong company. they were in no way affiliated to the secret society but they infleunced me. i am not boasting but my results always make it to the top few in class and these "friends" of mine were jealous. jealousy took the better of them and soon they started to condemn me, spreading rumours around saying that i was proud and i looked down on others. in spite of that, i continued to score well for my coming tests and exams. i had to do it. my future is at stake. so i suffered much tribulations then. later in the year, these "friends" became bolder. they put me down with names and vulgarities. they even ganged upw ith the whole class to persecute me. there i was alone, often crying in one corner.
i dont know if i should be called forgiving or what. i still remained in the same class with the same people. yes, i hated them, resented them but there was nothign i could do. i looked forward to that year thinking that i could start all over. so i happily mixed around with this bunch of "friends" again. then history repeated itself. this tym, these "friends" targeted at a girl in our class. being one of their "kakees" i followed so. i stepped onto the girl's books, wrote nasty letters and stuff. she was being condemned. so that was how victorious i felt to bully someone else, not realising that the same condemnation that i had experienced before was actually inflicted on someone else's life. as you know, you sow what you reap. justice with its long arms caught me. i ws later brought into disciplinary action. my teachers thought that i was a bad kid, my parents were called yet i couldnt see the anguish written all over their faces. where were those "friends"? Alhtough they were involved in such matters, they lied and pushed all the blame onto me hence they got away. so i had to carry their burden, their crimes and sins. i experienced so much resentment, so much pain that i even harboured suicidal thoughts.
Despite that, God is good. i was in a day care centre at that tym. they embraced christian values, preached christianity. i was somehow convinced. i didnt know if i had accepted Christ then but iknew that i believe in Jesus. count me unlucky or what. i quit that day care centre when i wa sin p5 cuz my mom thought hat she could placed me in a better day care centre with better education offered. i knew Jesus but i didnt know how to become a christian. thus i "backslided". i carried on w my life.
i was 11 then. out of mischief, i started to bully a guy that was so much larger in size than me. belive it or not, he was 100 kg and above. HE WAS. he is even till now. so the elephant is afraid of the mice. me= the mice. hahas. i sort of passed hsi thigns around the class and taunted himw ith my clique. we got into much trouble. my form teacher was fierce but she had a kind nature. she counselled me and made realised that i was wrong. she harshly reprimanded me in front of the class. later on, my clique and i was disperesed. this very nice classmate of mine became my friend and we hung out with 2 others when we were in p6. after so much had happened and facing the major exam that i had ro live up to my parents' expectations, i put aside all thoughts. i focused onto my studies and hung out with my friends. that year was peaceful. at least it was for me. scored an average score of 245 with a bonus point of 2 marks cuz of my HCL. got into nan hua sec and the story goes on.
sec 1. life wasnt any better. a year of transection, a year of misery. i hung ut with this other insecure girl who seeks and craves attention. got into much fumbles and our friendship was strained becuz of many things. u cant blame for being insecure with all the past hurts and all circumstances that seem to be against me. jojo then(now my good friend) sort of backstabbed me. it was actually all a misunderstanding but things turned out bad. reason partially was being that this girl that i hung out with fabricated tales to save herself. alright, i was marked as the bad guy and stuff. i got into a relationship with this senior of mine. he was 16 and i was 13. i thought he could be my true friend, one who listens and all. however, he cheate don my feelings. he had another girlfriend. i got into so much emotional turmoil and i wasted a huge amount of tym just on him thinking that i could do things to savage our relationship. iw as a kid then, i was blind. eventually, i broke up with him in 2005, the year when i gave my heart to Jesus totally.
i confided in emily, the one saved me to Christ. she showed unconditional love and was always there. never forgetting lei hoi and tingmin (another christian friend) who were by my side as well. lei hoi shared the same interests as me and we hung out as close friends. tingmin too. so considering that i had only 3 friends at tat tym, i was contented still. i was contented but not happy. emily eventually saved me to Jesus during the easter service in 2005. i remembered so clearly that ii walked down quickly to the altar when pastor kong gave the altar call. oh yarh, my friendship with jojo reconciled then. i gave my heart to Jesus but took quite a long tym to get integrated into church becuase of parental objections. so i had new found friends and a new hope.
i can never thank God enough that He has changed me. i could not smile in the ast,i was critical, resentful, revengeful and angry. However, God changed me. as i started to attend church, i learned to love God, love people and even myself. now, i'm in church serving (not totally happy) but im glad that i have changed. i make wiser decisions and i love the presence of my friends. jojo and i are now good friends, emily too. when i have problems, i talk to God, my cgl, my friends in church! how lovely. =)
everyone has a story. it usually isnt a good one preceding the meeting of Christ into their lives. my life happens to be so.
i was born into a traditional chinese family w a buddhist background. my parents aint devoted believers so that left me as a person with free beliefs. my parents reject church a lot but the irony is that they sent me to christian schools and enrichment centres. hence i was actually exposed to christian values since young. however, due to the fact that my parents are atheist, i then ignore what was being preached.
when i was 9, i mixed with the wrong company. they were in no way affiliated to the secret society but they infleunced me. i am not boasting but my results always make it to the top few in class and these "friends" of mine were jealous. jealousy took the better of them and soon they started to condemn me, spreading rumours around saying that i was proud and i looked down on others. in spite of that, i continued to score well for my coming tests and exams. i had to do it. my future is at stake. so i suffered much tribulations then. later in the year, these "friends" became bolder. they put me down with names and vulgarities. they even ganged upw ith the whole class to persecute me. there i was alone, often crying in one corner.
i dont know if i should be called forgiving or what. i still remained in the same class with the same people. yes, i hated them, resented them but there was nothign i could do. i looked forward to that year thinking that i could start all over. so i happily mixed around with this bunch of "friends" again. then history repeated itself. this tym, these "friends" targeted at a girl in our class. being one of their "kakees" i followed so. i stepped onto the girl's books, wrote nasty letters and stuff. she was being condemned. so that was how victorious i felt to bully someone else, not realising that the same condemnation that i had experienced before was actually inflicted on someone else's life. as you know, you sow what you reap. justice with its long arms caught me. i ws later brought into disciplinary action. my teachers thought that i was a bad kid, my parents were called yet i couldnt see the anguish written all over their faces. where were those "friends"? Alhtough they were involved in such matters, they lied and pushed all the blame onto me hence they got away. so i had to carry their burden, their crimes and sins. i experienced so much resentment, so much pain that i even harboured suicidal thoughts.
Despite that, God is good. i was in a day care centre at that tym. they embraced christian values, preached christianity. i was somehow convinced. i didnt know if i had accepted Christ then but iknew that i believe in Jesus. count me unlucky or what. i quit that day care centre when i wa sin p5 cuz my mom thought hat she could placed me in a better day care centre with better education offered. i knew Jesus but i didnt know how to become a christian. thus i "backslided". i carried on w my life.
i was 11 then. out of mischief, i started to bully a guy that was so much larger in size than me. belive it or not, he was 100 kg and above. HE WAS. he is even till now. so the elephant is afraid of the mice. me= the mice. hahas. i sort of passed hsi thigns around the class and taunted himw ith my clique. we got into much trouble. my form teacher was fierce but she had a kind nature. she counselled me and made realised that i was wrong. she harshly reprimanded me in front of the class. later on, my clique and i was disperesed. this very nice classmate of mine became my friend and we hung out with 2 others when we were in p6. after so much had happened and facing the major exam that i had ro live up to my parents' expectations, i put aside all thoughts. i focused onto my studies and hung out with my friends. that year was peaceful. at least it was for me. scored an average score of 245 with a bonus point of 2 marks cuz of my HCL. got into nan hua sec and the story goes on.
sec 1. life wasnt any better. a year of transection, a year of misery. i hung ut with this other insecure girl who seeks and craves attention. got into much fumbles and our friendship was strained becuz of many things. u cant blame for being insecure with all the past hurts and all circumstances that seem to be against me. jojo then(now my good friend) sort of backstabbed me. it was actually all a misunderstanding but things turned out bad. reason partially was being that this girl that i hung out with fabricated tales to save herself. alright, i was marked as the bad guy and stuff. i got into a relationship with this senior of mine. he was 16 and i was 13. i thought he could be my true friend, one who listens and all. however, he cheate don my feelings. he had another girlfriend. i got into so much emotional turmoil and i wasted a huge amount of tym just on him thinking that i could do things to savage our relationship. iw as a kid then, i was blind. eventually, i broke up with him in 2005, the year when i gave my heart to Jesus totally.
i confided in emily, the one saved me to Christ. she showed unconditional love and was always there. never forgetting lei hoi and tingmin (another christian friend) who were by my side as well. lei hoi shared the same interests as me and we hung out as close friends. tingmin too. so considering that i had only 3 friends at tat tym, i was contented still. i was contented but not happy. emily eventually saved me to Jesus during the easter service in 2005. i remembered so clearly that ii walked down quickly to the altar when pastor kong gave the altar call. oh yarh, my friendship with jojo reconciled then. i gave my heart to Jesus but took quite a long tym to get integrated into church becuase of parental objections. so i had new found friends and a new hope.
i can never thank God enough that He has changed me. i could not smile in the ast,i was critical, resentful, revengeful and angry. However, God changed me. as i started to attend church, i learned to love God, love people and even myself. now, i'm in church serving (not totally happy) but im glad that i have changed. i make wiser decisions and i love the presence of my friends. jojo and i are now good friends, emily too. when i have problems, i talk to God, my cgl, my friends in church! how lovely. =)
posted by princess of God at 9:06 PM
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